god please have mercy on me. you took everything from me this year. my friends, my coach/mentor, my security in my job, my finances, my safety in my husband, my mind, my weight loss. i've lost everything. im binging and gaining all my weight back. i was hospitalized for suicidal. i feel like lower than dirt, forgotten. why do you torture me. what is the lesson. because i feel like i must be a bad person to deserve all this pain and i just want to end it. please have mercy on my soul. please guide me and send me direction and hope and peace.